|I'm having a moment
||[Jun. 27th, 2006|11:47 pm]
I think the moment I started breathing, the moment I realized there was something great in store for me was the day I met her. Through the years I have a hard time remembering just exactly how we met. She tells her story and I tell mine. The most important thing is that we met and because of her, from that point my life has had some meaning.
Every struggle, every joy, every heartbreak, every important moment in my life there has been one constant thing and that was her. As I sit her trying to vision her face, I smile. Her laughter and overwhelming inner-beauty has always been an attractive feature. The most amazing thing about her is she has put up with me for 28 years. I’m not referring to my wife, I’m not referring to my lover, I’m referring to my soul-mate, my best friend to the most amazing creature that has ever entered into my atmosphere. I’m referring to my Heather.
I have a selfish streak in me. Everyone who knows me is aware of that. When it comes to her I am a little freakish, some could say. I want nothing for happiness for her. Unfortunately I’m not sure she knows what that is anymore. Many times I have tried to describe in writing what she means to mean and I can never seem to find the right words.
I struggle with it; I wish I could blurt them out. When someone has been such a reaming staple in your life it’s difficult to pinpoint that one thing, the one thing about them you just couldn’t live without. The truth is, I don’t think I could survive without her, I’m not sure I would want to. I’m not sure I would have any strength in me if anything ever happened to her. I wish I could erase her pain, make a wish and make it vanish as if it never existed. I’m not that powerful I like to pretend I am but I’m not. I hate to think what I would have become had I not had this amazing soul in my life, if we had never met. What would my life have become?
I shutter to think. Would someone please help me understand why she can’t see what I see? Why she can’t understand that she is one of the reasons I am still able to get out of bed in the morning. Why can’t she understand that this world would be a pile of shit if she weren’t here to explore it with me? Not one person on this planet understands me the way she does. She is imbedded in my soul.